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Are you being abused?

People in abusive relationships often have a feeling that something is “off,” or not quite right, but many don’t get that what is happening to them is abuse. Abuse is insidious; it can be sneaky. Abuse might start as small things that always have an excuse, but slowly seem to get worse over time.

Take an honest look at the questions below.

Does your partner…

  • Keep track of how you spend your time or check up on you often as if you are not trusted?
  • Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful and sleeping around?
  • Have unrealistic expectations of you or become very dependent on you?
  • Isolate you from family or friends geographically, or discourage your relationship with them?
  • Say things like, “If you really loved me, you would…?”
  • Make it difficult for you to work, attend school, or go out?
  • Criticize you for little things, like you cannot do even simple things right?
  • Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend or make you work and pay for everything while he/she is unemployed?
  • Let you or your children go without basic needs, such as groceries, utilities, phone service, or health care?
  • Keep you from using the phone?
  • Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
  • Call you names and humiliate you or make sexual jokes about you?
  • Throw things or punch the wall?
  • Say things like, “You are all I need, I’m all you need” or “I’m the only one that really understands you?”
  • Treat you and your children like you are property?
  • Tease, abuse, or hurt your family pets?
  • Drink or do drugs, then get angry or violent?
  • Tell you are you’re crazy, that you are making things up, or that the abuse never happened?
  • Blame you for the anger and abuse and say that everything is your fault?
  • Hit, punch, slap, kick, bite, burn, push, trip or use any other physical force on you or your children?
  • Restrain you or your children in any way, such as pushing you against a wall or keeping you from leaving the room?
  • Threaten to hurt you, your children, or your family or friends?
  • Use or threaten to use a weapon against you or others you care about?
  • Force or coerce you to have sex against your will?
  • Knowingly give you a sexually transmitted disease?
  • Threaten to kill themselves or someone you care about if you leave them?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, call an advocate at Wild Iris. You might be a victim of abuse.