Stalking
One out of every 12 women and 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during their lifetime. Over 1 million men and women, nearly 380,000, are stalked annually. Stalking can be very traumatic and cause emotional stress. Victims of stalking may have nightmares; feel out of control; have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating; or feel vulnerable or depressed.
What is stalking?
The National Center for Victims of Crime defines stalking as "virtually any unwanted contact between two people that directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear." The most common type of stalking is by a person in a former personal or romantic relationship, like an ex-spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. Only a small number of people are stalked by strangers.
Stalking is a crime of power and control. Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim. Romantically obsessed stalkers refuse to believe the victim does not want a relationship with them. However, stalking can also be a form of retaliation because of some imagined insult. Many sexual harassment survivors report being stalked in retaliation for reporting their harassers.
Examples of stalking may include:
- Waiting at the victim's workplace or in their neighborhood.
- Persistent phone calls, text messages, emails, letters or notes.
- Sending unwanted gifts.
- Breaking into the victim's home or car.
- Gathering information on the victim by contacting people who know the victim; searching public or personal records, or the trash, for information.
- Surveillance by persistently watching the victim, hiring detective agencies to spy on the victim, using cameras, phone tapping, or bugging the victim's home or workplace.
Cyberstalking
Cyberstalking is a relatively new phenomenon. Cyberstalkers target their victims through chat rooms, message boards, discussion forums, and e-mail. Cyberstalking takes many forms such as: threatening or obscene e-mail; live chat harassment or flaming (online verbal abuse); leaving offensive messages on message boards or in guest books; sending electronic viruses; tracing another person's computer and Internet activity, and electronic identity theft. Similar to stalking off-line, online stalking can be a terrifying experience for victims, placing them at risk of psychological trauma, and possible physical harm. Many cyberstalking situations do evolve into off-line stalking, and a victim may experience abusive and excessive phone calls, vandalism, threatening or obscene mail, trespassing, and physical assault.
What to do if you think you’re being stalked
- If you are in immediate danger find a safe place to go such as a police station, hospital, friend’s home or a crowded public place. If you cannot get out of danger, dial 9-1-1.
- If you think you could be in danger, get a restraining order. A restraining order requires the stalker to stay away from you and not contact you. Victim advocates, such as Wild Iris, may be able to assist you with a restraining order.
- File a complaint with the authorities. Tell them about all threats.
- Keep videotapes, audiotapes, answering machine/voicemail messages, photos of property damage, and letters.
- Contact support systems to help you. Services such as Wild Iris, counseling services, and support groups can offer emotional support and advocacy.
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